Thankful

I am thankful for this year the most out of my 31 years.

Compared to where I was a year ago.. *mentioned in previous posts* I can honestly say I'm happier, healthier and more interested in paying it forward and helping people achieve their goals especially in those wanting to move forward in their career or transition to a new one.  I can see the progression and the "why" of the struggle last year. It was all part of a bigger plan.. and I like the excitement and uncertainty of where I will be in 3-5 years. Not having a plan. I can just be happy now and appreciate things as they are without worrying about achieving perfection. Right now. I have everything I need.

I understand the questions and the struggles of being unhappy in a job and how to move forward. What questions to ask,  how to present your skills and value to an employer. But the emotional aspect as well. "I need a change but how do I get there?" I'm grateful that my advice seems to be successful and to help people in a way that's rewarding but not exhausting. The job I have now is such a great fit. I'm very lucky to have found it, and it's nice to be appreciated.

I'm making progress slowly but surely with consistency in my fitness I haven't skipped a class. It's difficult but I'm moving forward. I think I should make concrete goals but that's difficult for me. Just going to class is enough for now.

My relationships with others still need some work. I tend to avoid people and conflict, especially with family and other "difficult people" I need some aspects of my life to be easy. Living on your own as a single lady in the city (without a car) is hard enough. *that's how I justify it anyway* So it's okay for me to cut the cord with relationships that I deem as toxic no matter who they are. I need to feel supported even if it's just by myself.  But I'm lucky, people have surprised me in a good way, even the most far removed acquaintances are willing to lend a hand. * and I actually asked for help* This is something that is very difficult for me. Both professionally and personally.

*Changes are happening, relationships are evolving.. and rather than resist them. I'm happy.  It's scary to think how major life events will affect the friendships I value so much, but I'm going to be there, because they will need me too"

It's nice to feel guided, to trust your instincts without second guessing. To believe that things will work out and somehow they just do. This is also a new concept for me I've been trained to think of every possible outcome to "be prepared" But I read "Worry, is a prayer for chaos" and its so true. it's self fulfilling prophecy. But the opposite is to never worry about anything and to me that seems to project a lack of discipline or preparation. Which is in my opinion worse!

I'm going to keep this in mind when I try to excessively shop for the "perfect gifts" for everyone. To overachieve at the risk of my own sanity and resources. It's all about balance this year. Whatever I do. it will be enough.