Food & Family.

I'm currently reading:

I want to give this book more credit, it's just okay. But.. I am specifically relating to the chapter that brings together family history and food. An entertaining example from my life includes the following:


A text conversation between my cousin (who is getting married in front of 450 guests a month from today) and me.

Me: "Is this an open bar, cash bar or dry reception? Nobody knows the answer to this."

(My grandma and my dad don't drink, and my brother, although a groomsman has no idea)

MB: "Why the fuck would I have a dry wedding?"
Me: "I'm not sure how religious John's family is?!!!"


This pretty much sets the tone to describe many things. One side of the family is very Catholic, prim, proper, until they start tossing curse words around like acerbic truck drivers. All about balance

This is the same side of the family whose liquor choices include: wine coolers, "sweet red" wine and Mike's Hard Lemonade, they voluntarily eat at Chili's and Chinese takeout  and for family celebrations. Including Pizza on Christmas Eve.  To say that they are not "foodies" like me is an understatement, so i politely decline all forms of these so called foods and either bring my own or resort to a liquid dinner in the form of fermented grapes while I am silently judged and given the stink eye.


My other side of the family the German/Italian side is polar opposite

My grandma makes "shrimp mold" which is like a jello with tiny canned shrimp, celery and nox soup mix which sounds gross but its delicious!

Potato Salad, 2x a year and makes sure to put some away for me and my dad (even though my parents have been divorced for at least 25 years. he still thinks of it fondly.  with "baco- bits" & Deviled eggs 

and my Aunt D who's mom came over from Italy makes enough Italian cookies to fully stock a neighborhood bakery even if there's only 10 people in attendance at any given family party.

She also makes sausage and marinara and a bunch of other Italian/German delights and has leftovers for days.

My grandpa has always had an affinity for red wine. Never white, always red. Says he likes Italian kind because he likes to attribute to his sense of patriotism but he secretly finds it too dry and prefers California Cabernets.


Lisa- my now (estranged)  mother when she was properly motivated and on a good day when she actually got out of bed would make dinner when we were growing up. Shake and Bake Pork chops and apple sauce with green beans & bacon my brother's favorite meal.

Steak (which I always  made her cut into small pieces for me) and Italian salad or lemon chicken and rice/potato was mine.  We both liked extra spicy mostoccoli and Prego spaghetti sauce and with EXTRA crushed red pepper. With garlic bread Always complained to her when it was "too bland"

I've written several times about my strained relationship with her but the one thing we used to agree on was food. (She has since given up cooking due to empty nest syndrome and a bunch of digestive health issues)

We even used to make soup together once a year in the fall and go through old pictures. and we'd fight the whole way through. Never agreed on anything. But we tried.

She knew I valued the sense of tradition, but while trying to replicate her recipes I'd always add a "twist" or something to improve it. (I went through a Food Network phase).  It doesn't help that in the original recipes passed down from my Great Grandma Bea, she never measured anything, or wrote anything down. it was all by memory, and taste.

When I'm alone cooking for myself.  I notice when I'm not thinking about cooking, it always comes out better, but when I try to make the same dish twice it never comes out the same.

Her sister also makes these "Mexican Eggrolls" think about the stuffing of a chicken taco. Chicken, Jalepeno, Tomato & onion stuffed inside a wonton wrapper and fried in oil.  the most delicious thing you've ever tasted. My great grandma Sally came from Mexico and we used to have Sunday dinners at her house.  She'd take a cheap cut of pork and cook it low and slow in a spicy tomato "salsa" and i loved the way her house always smelled like spices and garlic. She was a soft spoken woman but she didn't miss a thing.  She was quick to defend me and my aunt against her daughter and my mother for working a 9-5 job instead of collecting a paycheck or support check from a man.

Work ethic and independence  must have skipped over a few generations.

Food even if the value is lost on certain family members is what ties the family together for me.

The day that my dad's side attempted pizza on Christmas Eve it was me who at first boycotted the whole day and stayed home to cook my own "family meal" Pork loin, roasted potatoes with garlic, bacon and Parmesan, mostoccoli with marinara that simmered from 6:30am on.. ect. and brought it over for everyone.  Or the numerous times my stepmom catered Christmas Eve but only ordered the things on the menu she'd like too many vegetables not enough protein, no kid friendly or crowd friendly food" I made a pan of shrimp and broccoli fettuccini and meatballs and slid it among the aluminum foil pans so it appeared to be from the caterer. I make my own traditions slightly elevated from the traditions and shared with enthusiasm, even if it wasn't always appreciated.

I am a tad overweight its true, but I refuse to eat fast food, I don't eat to live. I live to eat. I know the difference between fake and real and love and apathy, all of which can be tasted and created if you have the passion and the desire to look for it. Anything less? What is the point?! What do you live for?