New Dreams

So now I have to ask myself what do I want? Regardless of practicality. What do I think I deserve if any doubt was eliminated?

1.     More travel.

At 32 years old I realized I did not own a suitcase. A duffle/weekend bag yes! But after several years of hauling countless bags on CTA and a handful of ACTUAL vacations. I finally bucked up and spent the $$ on carry on suitcase with wheels and a handle. It’s a snappy shade of electric perfect size and weight.  If only to make traveling with gifts easier on a girl without a car.  The cheerful suitcase I hope will inspire me to Get out my comfort zone, to take more weekend getaways and stop procrastinating and making excuses!

2.     A relationship that is stable without suffocating.

The Question is “Does that exist?” I’ve read that a fellow introvert is a way to go. Someone who values their independence and space, but can socialize in smaller groups at times.  Someone who’s comfortable staying home reading/Netflix and chill but also want to check out a new bookstore or restaurant. I want to feel taken care of sometimes, without being smothered. For someone to love all the things “Rosie” without trying to change me, or scare me away with all of their expectations. Someone to keep their cool and help me see another way of thinking I haven’t previously considered. (Good Luck with that part).

3.     Make progress on my own book.

I’ve wanted to write a book since I was 8 years old. It was going to be called “My family puts the FUN in DYSFUNCTIONAL” I spent 2017 reading books of women I admire, and some I’d never heard of but admired their style and format. I studied to make my own.  I started telling friends and random people, I want to write a book, part essay, part memoir but the goal is to help people that have been through emotional trauma but also humorous observations. Up to this point the drafts of this have been “intense”. I’m just typing and letting the words and thoughts flow. Maybe humor will be added or it will be an entirely different book of observations.  The point is I’m getting it down.  Not all of these thoughts are gems. But I am writing. I’m still wondering “what makes my “brand” or perspective any different than other women?” Why would anyone want to read ME? But asking WHY is the most important part. It’s not a question of doubt.

4.     Make a difference somehow

I’ve volunteered before as a tutor, *I was hopelessly inadequate and untrained, but  I did try, as a shelver at a nonprofit bookstore* I’d like to be MORE involved, in writing workshops, and reading programs for kids. Of course those only occur during the daytime when I’m at work

  I’ve been obsessed with the engagement of Prince Harry and Ms. Meghan Markle. What charitable causes would I contribute to if I had those kinds of resources?

I decided this Christmas that I would contribute within my means and buy Christmas gifts that support causes I believe in.

1.     St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital (Next Year I’ll split some of this donation and give half to Lurie’s Children’s Hospital here in Chicago because of my personal connection with it. (If time and salary weren’t a factor I would love to work/volunteer there) (I was even almost hired to work there! But the process took too long and I accepted another position.

2.     Chicago Literacy Alliance- Literacy and Education have played pivotal roles in  my growth and development and to me both of these factors equal freedom and mobility. To be able to give back to educators and children who want to learn and create is monumentally important to me.

3.     Animal Rescue- I have Katie to thank for this one, she asked me to go with her to a few fundraising events and I was inspired by the difference that was made by these organizations to help fund, education and rescue. They diverted dogs and cats from animal control. They offered to cover the medical costs so owner’s who couldn’t afford care could keep their pets. And save sick and senior animals from certain death. I am a more compassionate person as a result of what they do. Although I can’t have animals in my apt, I will continue to raise awareness and all the funds I can to support these groups and their mission

4.     Girl’s Leadership and Self Esteem programs.  I AM THAT GIRL. At 31 I read this book and I couldn’t help but think “Wow, I wish I’d read this book at 12 or 13 years old, how different my outlook would be. (Infinitely more positive). I realize that kids don’t always receive the support or encouragement they deserve at home. That’s why after school programs and mentorship is important, and I would love to see a world in which young girls believe they can do ANYTHING,to not feel limited and set goals for themselves to achieve more and DREAM BIG!