Past & Present

Taking these classes at PPW have really pushed me mentally and physically and it’s exactly what I needed.

God bless Rachel for being so supportive & encouraging and believing in me. It’s cliché but true, people come into your life at the right time either to save you or to teach you, and I’m grateful for both.

Yesterday in class, I was reminded of some of the exercises I used to do in PT many many years ago.

I realize how lucky I am to have such a mild case of CP and I am honestly grateful now for every day my body can move the way it does.  

 I am lucky to be alive with a functioning brain, heart, and lungs. I came into the world before most babies and it makes me question… What am I doing with my time?, How am I contributing?..

 I’d like to contribute a book someday, one that helps people through any suffering or pain, I’d like to be the kind of person that motivates people, and give back in the same way people have helped me.

(that's part of the reason I started volunteering at the bookstore, since I can't give my time to Chicago Public Library I wanted to help further the mission of literacy and reading programs for kids even if I'm only stocking and re-organizing shelves, I just want to share that joy.

I forgot about the little girl with casts and braces on her legs, the one who could only move her arms for 3 months in the middle of summer. The countless hours of therapy. I forget how many obstacles I’ve already overcome and how strong  I am. I don’t think I’ve ever given myself credit for any of it. Because when you don’t have a choice, is it really something to receive credit for?  You HAVE to keep going.  That's why most of my friends don't even know I have CP, it used to be a big part of who I was, how I grew up and how I spent my time.  And my parents didn't want it to define who I was, they wanted me to be "normal" and knew eventually I would be, even if the kids in school didn't treat me that way for a long time.

Most people don’t display gratitude until something is taken away from them.  I forgot how hard I worked to get it back. I didn’t care about myself; I used food to pacify my anger and loneliness to fill something that was empty. Still do. But I’m working on it.

Well now I remember, and I am more determined than ever to keep going and get myself back into shape.  I get frustrated and angry and tired that my body won’t do as much as I’d like. But after each class and the day following I feel myself getting stronger.  

Rachel and Rita have invested their time and commitment to me, and the least I can do is show up and do the work.